March 28, 2019 ·
mustardseed
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Advice, Inspiration, News, Parenting Info
Being a single mom has its unique challenges, but also very unique rewards. Though few of us start out dreaming of raising kids on our own, the truth is that the trial by fire of single motherhood can teach us just how strong and amazing we truly are. Here are some quotes from warrior single moms who’ve been there, done that, and continue to inspire other single moms who are in it to win it.
1. “When you’re a single parent, you’re often lonely, let seldom alone. There is no backup…it is mothering without a net.” – Amy Dickinson
2. “Being a single mom is is not a life full of struggles, but a journey for the strong.” – Meg Lowrey
3. “Some days, she has no idea how she’ll do it. But every single day, it still gets done.” – Unknown
4. “Single moms: You are a doctor, a teacher, a nurse, a maid, a cook, a referee, a heroine, a provider, a defender, a protector, a true superwoman. Wear your cape proudly.”– Mandy Hale
5. “A single mom tries when things are hard. She never gives up. She believes in her family, even when things are tough. She knows that above all things, a mother’s love is more than enough.”– Deniece Williams
6. ”Being a single mum is twice the work, twice the stress and twice the tears but also twice the hugs, twice the love and twice the pride.” – Anonymous
7. “Because your child is your first priority, you’re more selective, so in order to let someone into that world, they have to be really special. You cut out the bull that you might fall for if you didn’t have responsibilities.” – Helena Christensen
8. “She has to have four arms, four legs, four eyes, two hearts, and double the love. There is nothing single about a single mom. – Mandy Hale
9. “I would say to any single parent currently feeling the weight of stereotype or stigmatization that I am prouder of my years as a single mother than of any other part of my life.” – J.K. Rowling
10. “A single mom keeps going, even when things are at their hardest. She never gives up. Because a mother’s love is stronger than any love there is.” – Unknown
Yes, single mamas, you are up for a huge challenge, but, the truth is: you were made to be your child’s mother, and you can both thrive together. Don’t give up! You may be single, but you are in no way alone.
February 6, 2019 ·
mustardseed
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Advice, Inspiration, News
Single Mom Graduates Harvard at Age 24, Says “Let’s Keep Beating All the Odds”
By Jenny Rapson for TMSF
Photo Credit: Briana Williams on Instagram @lovexbriana
Atlanta native Briana Williams seemed to be unstoppable. The first of the six kids in her family to graduate from college, she did so well in her undergrad Legal Studies major at St. John’s University (magna cum laude!) that she got into the renowned Harvard Law School. Truly, a dream come true.
Unlike many of the students whose families can afford to send them to Harvard Law, Williams didn’t have the luxury of concentrating solely on her studies. She worked as a server and bartender to support herself while hitting the books as hard as she could. All her hard work paid off, and in her third year at Harvard, she was the communications director for the Harvard Black Law Students Association.
Then, when she could see the light at the end of the law school tunnel, with graduation so close she could taste it…she got pregnant.
Williams faced the reality that she was going to have to finish her last year at the toughest law school in the nation as a single mother, without the support of a partner.
Photo Credit: Briana Williams on Instagram @lovexbriana
Like everything else in life, she buckled down and did it—and did it exceedingly well. In an Instagram post on her account @lovexBriana” she captions a photo of herself and her one-year-old daughter Evelyn on her Harvard graduation day with the inspiring story of her journey. She says,
“I went into labor in April- during final exam period. I immediately requested an epidural so that my contractions wouldn’t interfere with my Family Law grade. And, with tears in my eyes, I finished it. This “biting the bullet” experience is quite quintessential of my time at Harvard. To say that my last year of law school, with a newborn, and as a single mom was a challenge would be an understatement. Some days I was so mentally and emotionally fatigued that I did not leave my bed. I struggled with reliable childcare. It was not atypical to see me rushing through Wasserstein to the Dean of Students’ office with Evelyn in her carriage, asking DOS can they keep her for a few until class was over. If not, she’d just have to come with me to class. Evie attended classes often.
So I’m going to be honest with you guys.. I didn’t think I could do it.
I did not think that, at 24 years old, as a single mom, I would be able to get through one of the most intellectually rigorous and challenging positions of my life. It was hard. It hurt. Instagram can make peoples’ lives seem seamless, but this journey has been heart-wrenching. However, I am happy to say that I DID do it.
Today, Evelyn in my arms, with tears streaming down my face, I accepted my Juris Doctor from Harvard Law School. At first, I was the anomaly of my [marginalized] community. Then, as a single mother, I became a statistic. Next, I pray that, for the sake of my baby, I will be an example.
Evelyn- they said that because of you I wouldn’t be able to do this. Just know that I did this BECAUSE OF YOU. Thank you for giving me the strength and courage to be invincible. Let’s keep beating all their odds, baby.”
Photo Credit: Briana Williams on Instagram @lovexbriana
Williams’ story is a perfect example of the saying, “When a child is born, a mother is born also.” Some would think that an unplanned pregnancy at this point in Williams’ journey would be the end of her life. But in reality, it was the beginning of two new lives: Evelyn’s as a beautiful soul entering this world, and Briana’s life as a mother, in which she has already proved she is more powerful and stronger than she ever was before.
To the single moms struggling today: you may have a huge challenge in front of you. It may be more or less daunting than Harvard Law School, but one thing is for sure: your status as a mother doesn’t make it less likely that you will overcome this challenge. It makes it MORE likely that you’ll have the strength to conquer it.
August 30, 2018 ·
mustardseed
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News, Parenting Info
Science Says: Mother-Baby Bonding Is the Best Medicine
By Jenny Rapson for The Mustard Seed Foundation of Dayton
All new moms want to do everything they can to keep their babies healthy, but often we don’t know what to do, so we follow our maternal instincts and baby care books and do, well, everything. We watch them like a hawk for signs of illness, make sure they’re always warm but not hot, and start reading to them before they can even smile. But according to a prominent endocrinologist and mind-body-wellness advocate Dr. Deepak Chopra, the strength of the emotional bond between a mother and a baby is more powerful than any other medical or physical precautions we can take for a baby’s health.
So what moms really need to do to keep babies healthy? Is CUDDLE them!
Mother-baby bonding is best.
That’s right: when moms and babies bond, the physical health of the baby is impacted just as much as the emotional health. That’s just one reason why our goal here at the Mustard Seed Foundation is to keep moms and babies together, not only giving babies a great start in life, but also ensuring their life-long health.
An article at Parenting.com adds plentiful scientific evidence to back up Dr. Chopra’s claims. “In one study from Ohio State University, “ says the article, “rabbits that were cuddled by researchers were protected against the artery-clogging effects of a high-cholesterol diet. The love and attention affected the rabbits’ hormone levels, the study authors concluded, helping them withstand heart disease.”
If a stranger cuddling a rabbit can have such a positive health impact, how much more can a mother cuddling her own infant add to her baby’s health? The implications are astounding.
The truth is, the evidence that keeping moms and babies together is best for both of them has been on the books for years. For instance, it’s long been known that when a newborn baby nurses, the “love hormone” oxytocin is released. It hits the ”reward center” of our mama brains and makes us feel good, while also making us crave more of that feeling that bonding brings. And you don’t have to breastfeed to get that “love hormone” goodness. Parenting says, “Simply gazing into your baby’s eyes while bottle-feeding or just snuggling or massaging also unleashes the feel-good hormones in both of you.”
Touch isn’t the only bonding sense our biology uses to cement the bond between mother and baby. Our sense of smell gets involved, too. Pheromones, the chemicals we excrete to attract a partner, are excreted by our babies, too, making moms likely to be enamored of their little ones and encouraging physical bonding via touch. And even though newborns can’t even see clearly when they’re born, they can almost instantly identify their mamas by scent, proving once again that moms and babies are simply meant for one another.
When it comes down to it, Francesca D’Amato, M.D., a behavioral neuroscientist in Rome and a prominent bonding researcher told Parenting, “The mother-child bond assures infant survival in terms of protection, nutrition, and care.”
Did you hear that? “The mother-child bond assures infant survival.”
That’s a pretty important reason to keep moms and babies together and bonding during those first few crucial months of life and beyond. But here’s another: Dr. Chopra says positive bonding experiences with a mother and baby can actually alter a child’s DNA to be more resistant to illness. “Immune cells have memory of experiences,” he says.
According to Parenting, what Dr. Chopra means is, that when a baby is born, he or she is a “disorganized bundle of nerves.” They’ve just been thrust out of the warm womb and don’t know what to do with themselves. Bright lights, hunger, having their diaper changed—everything freaks them out! Newborns are under stress and they need to be cuddled and soothed to alleviate this stress. Science tells us that when we’re stressed, our immunity goes down, and we’re more susceptible to sickness. Babies who are not snuggled, hugged and bonded with physically are constantly stressed. Their immune cells remember this stress and their immunity can be permanently affected, even into adulthood. People who have experienced childhood trauma have a 70 to 100 percent increased risk of developing certain autoimmune maladies like Graves’ disease, Crohn’s disease, lupus, and rheumatoid arthritis.
Bottom line? Mother-baby bonding contributes more than any other factor the emotional and physical well-being of children throughout childhood and into adulthood. Let’s do our part to keep young moms and their sweet babies together—and therefore healthy in body and mind.
